October 29, 2012
February 6, 2012
8 weeks already!
How has 8 weeks already gone by since my baby girl was born? The time seems to flying by and I am absolutely dreading having to go back to work in a few weeks. Having my daughter has been the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me. I honestly didn't know how much everything would change once she was born. I am a mother now and forever. That fact is both incredible and daunting at the same time. I know this has been uttered many a times, but honestly I finally understand what its like to be a parent including all the fear, worries and concerns. Her smile can absolutely change my mood and make life happy in an instant.
Not to imply that things are all butterflies and cupcakes here. I have had some really tough times in the past eight weeks and went through a baby blues phase that made me feel pretty isolated, sad and left me crying a lot. Motherhood is hard. Recovering from having a baby is hard. Breastfeeding is hard. All of combined makes life seem more than hard and almost impossible at times. But I got through it one day at a time and those smiles and snuggles make it totally worth it. Today I took a 2 hour nap with my daughter and woke up with her hand resting on my cheek, her baby smell all around me and I realized how blessed my life is.
I promise one day I will write about more than motherhood, babies,etc but for now this is my life.
I just wanted to write down a few memories from her first month (even if it's almost time to write about her second month!)
One Month:
Highs: Your birth, Christmas with you and the entire family, your unaware sleep smiles, the way your clasp your hands together when you sleep, breastfeeding, watching my husband become a father
Lows: Mastitis, thrush, third degree tear, baby blues, sleep deprivation, breastfeeding (yes it is both high and low)
Your personality: You have the girliest wails/screams and are showing signs that you will be feisty and expressive. You roll on your side no problem, track objects and your neck control is pretty incredible. You love to snuggle and sleep on Mom and Dad. Or really anyone but I like to think that you prefer us. You love high contrast images and also the B&W stuffed panda bear that your Chacha (Uncle) got you. You talk to him (aka make lots of cooing noises) and are able to follow him with your eyes.
And of course some pictures...
Me and my little lady
Your cousin and uncle admiring you
Sleeping on mommy with clasped hands
Unaware baby smiles
Your first Christmas
You and Daddy. This position always calms you down
Little baby fingers
You and Daddy right after you were born
Being introduced to the family
Four generations
You and your Seeya (grandfather)
January 6, 2012
Introducing...
Our daughter!
She was born on December 12th in a dramatic fashion and is the love of our lives.
In the past three weeks I have been dealing with the recovery from labor (third degree tears are not fun), figuring out breastfeeding and all the associated worry/pain, getting through mastitis (midway through the antibiotics for that), plus the holidays and family, etc. And of course figuring out how to be a mommy to a newborn. There have been a lot of tears (both happy and sad) but so so much love.
I hope to post the birth story soon and start to write here and there. Happy new year to everyone!
She was born on December 12th in a dramatic fashion and is the love of our lives.
In the past three weeks I have been dealing with the recovery from labor (third degree tears are not fun), figuring out breastfeeding and all the associated worry/pain, getting through mastitis (midway through the antibiotics for that), plus the holidays and family, etc. And of course figuring out how to be a mommy to a newborn. There have been a lot of tears (both happy and sad) but so so much love.
I hope to post the birth story soon and start to write here and there. Happy new year to everyone!
December 5, 2011
Favorite Pregnancy/Parenting Reads
My due date is today and I'm still pregnant. I am giant and extremely cranky and spend a lot of time begging the baby to come out and whining about how much I'm sick of being pregnant. I really am SO sick of being pregnant. I want to be able to feel my fingers again, to not have to use all my effort to get out of bed, to sleep on my stomach and to finally meet my sweet baby. Oh and finally know if I've been growing a son or a daughter all this time.
Also I'm uber prepared. I've spent the past few weeks organizing, cleaning and buying everything we could possibly need for this baby. I am also now working from home and already wrapped up almost everything last week so really now I'm just bored and anxious. I spent the day sitting on my ass, watching Harry Potter and feeling irritated that nothing was happening. My mom is coming in town tomorrow evening so at least I'll have some company and someone to make me delicious Sri Lankan food.
Anyway, I figured since it has been ages since I wrote a post, I would write some of my favorite reads throughout this pregnancy.
Pregnancy Blogs/Websites:
Newsletters:
Breastfeeding:
Books:
IPhone App:
Nursery Inspiration:
Oh and definitely sign up for Amazon Mom - its sweet and you get prime membership for up to 9 months for free!
Those are the blogs, websites and books I can remember for now. I did do a lot of pregnancy reading by going through former weddingbee girls who were TTC, prego or a mom - you can find them listed on Bee in the Pod. Some of my favorites are Geek in Heels, Oh Apostrophe, and OMG...I'm a Mom.
Hope this was somewhat helpful. It helped me focus on something besides going into labor so at least there is that. Also feel free to comment with great blogs, books, etc that I might have missed. :)
Also I'm uber prepared. I've spent the past few weeks organizing, cleaning and buying everything we could possibly need for this baby. I am also now working from home and already wrapped up almost everything last week so really now I'm just bored and anxious. I spent the day sitting on my ass, watching Harry Potter and feeling irritated that nothing was happening. My mom is coming in town tomorrow evening so at least I'll have some company and someone to make me delicious Sri Lankan food.
Anyway, I figured since it has been ages since I wrote a post, I would write some of my favorite reads throughout this pregnancy.
Pregnancy Blogs/Websites:
- Pregnant Chicken - hilarious pregnancy blog. My favorite post is Awkward Pregnancy Pictures - so many guns, watermelons and awkward naked/sexual poses
- Amalah weekly pregnancy calendar - week by week guide to pregnancy
- Babycenter Blog - different posts covering parenthood, pregnancy, celebrity baby gossip, etc
- Bee in the Pod - collection of posts from weddingbee girls who are now going through pregnancy/TTC
- Hellobee - great new TTC, pregnancy and parenting blog created by Bee Kim of Weddingbee
Newsletters:
- Lucie's List - a survival guide for new moms, baby registry basics, plus you can sign up for funny, useful weekly tips and advice.
- Baby center, The Bump, What to Expect When Expecting - these sites will all email you weekly about your baby's development, tips, etc. I signed up for all three which is kind of annoying towards the end. Choose 1-2 and go from there.
- Amalah
- Motherlode - NY times parenting blog
- Rookie Moms
Breastfeeding:
- Kellymom - awesome advice and information on breastfeeding, sleep and parenting. Highly recommend reading this in your third trimester.
- The Zhukeepers - Great advice from a lovely weddingbee mommy
Books:
- Guide to Natural Childbirth - Ina May Gaskin. This book wasn't necessarily my cup of tea but then again I am pretty sure I want an epidural and believe in modern medicine. Also I don't really believe that a euphoric/sexual childbirth exists. I mean pushing 5-10lbs through my lady parts just isn't something I think I'll enjoy. That being said, it is useful for giving you lots of birth stories and not spinning birth in such a negative way. Childbirth is something women were made to do and many women don't need a lot of interventions to have a healthy baby. I don't think birth has to be the horrific nightmare that people love go on and on about. Why women like to tell you awful things about their own labors when you are pregnant is beyond me. Yes I know its going to hurt - I don't need to hear about your 4th degree tear and how things just aren't the same down below. I ramble but read this if you are curious about natural childbirth.
- What to Expect When Expecting - Heidi Murkoff - This book I found to be really annoying and presents WAY too many scenarios. I don't need to know what to do if I was on crack before I realized I was pregnant thank you.
- Brain Rules For Baby - Written by a molecular biologist this book is about scientific research on how to raise a smart and happy child from pregnancy through 5 yrs of age. I listened to this on audiobook and it was interesting and somewhat useful.
- Baby Bargains - Great book about necessities for a newborn, and tips to save on all the many many baby related items you will have to purchase.
IPhone App:
- Baby Bump - Great iphone app that gives you daily and weekly updates, has some great boards and features like kick counters, contraction timers, baby names, etc
Nursery Inspiration:
Oh and definitely sign up for Amazon Mom - its sweet and you get prime membership for up to 9 months for free!
Those are the blogs, websites and books I can remember for now. I did do a lot of pregnancy reading by going through former weddingbee girls who were TTC, prego or a mom - you can find them listed on Bee in the Pod. Some of my favorites are Geek in Heels, Oh Apostrophe, and OMG...I'm a Mom.
Hope this was somewhat helpful. It helped me focus on something besides going into labor so at least there is that. Also feel free to comment with great blogs, books, etc that I might have missed. :)
October 24, 2011
My little melon
It's been a while since I've written and honestly the weeks seem to be bleeding into one another. I can't believe its November next week. I feel like yesterday I was thinking, "Shit I can't believe its October next week".
So I'm 34 weeks now and baby weighs about as much as a cantaloupe (4.75lbs). I kind of can't believe that the baby is this big and I'm only 3 weeks away from being considered full term. We went to Nantucket this weekend for a little "babymoon" and it was beyond gorgeous. It is the place you imagine when you think of a seaside New England town. We had gorgeous fall weather all weekend, ate a TON of really ridiculously good food, walked around cobblestone streets, visited the Whaling Museum and went in stores that we couldn't possibly buy a thing. We also watched a lot of Breaking Bad on the laptop - we are completely addicted to the series and will watch 3-4 episodes a night if possible. Netflix streaming is the best.
And a side view. Yes I took these while I was at work. I needed a break and figured why not be awkward and try to take belly self portraits in my cubicle. Also my shirt is not a maternity shirt and is struggling to cover my lower stomach. I'm awesome and have totally given up.
So I'm 34 weeks now and baby weighs about as much as a cantaloupe (4.75lbs). I kind of can't believe that the baby is this big and I'm only 3 weeks away from being considered full term. We went to Nantucket this weekend for a little "babymoon" and it was beyond gorgeous. It is the place you imagine when you think of a seaside New England town. We had gorgeous fall weather all weekend, ate a TON of really ridiculously good food, walked around cobblestone streets, visited the Whaling Museum and went in stores that we couldn't possibly buy a thing. We also watched a lot of Breaking Bad on the laptop - we are completely addicted to the series and will watch 3-4 episodes a night if possible. Netflix streaming is the best.
View from our balcony in Nantucket
And below is what I see when I look down these days. My belly feels enormous to me these days and lately the baby has been going bananas and moving like crazy to the point where it actually hurts sometimes. I also think I've been getting more frequent Braxton Hicks contractions where my stomach feels so tight it feels like it could just burst.
And a side view. Yes I took these while I was at work. I needed a break and figured why not be awkward and try to take belly self portraits in my cubicle. Also my shirt is not a maternity shirt and is struggling to cover my lower stomach. I'm awesome and have totally given up.
My best friend had a baby last week (!!!) and it sort of put me in a panic to get ready for our little one. I'm working on a post of the things I'm doing to prepare before baby arrives so hopefully it'll be up this week. :)
September 28, 2011
Parvez Taj
I recently purchased our first piece of art for our new house! I bought one of Parvez Taj's reclaimed wood pieces called Kasbah. I got it for a steal on One Kings Lane and now just have to wait a month for it to arrive in the mail.
It was sort of an impulse buy because I've never seen the artists pieces in person but I just got a great feeling from the piece. The colors and the design are beautiful and it has eastern/Moroccan influence to it without being over the top. Of course art is very personal so this is my opinion. He uses a lot of different mediums and even makes these gorgeous light pieces too that are just stunning. I can't really find any great pictures of the light boxes but if you look at his website you will get the idea.
Buying a house is great but I'm having a hell of a time figuring out how to decorate. Hopefully this spices up the blank walls in the house.
It was sort of an impulse buy because I've never seen the artists pieces in person but I just got a great feeling from the piece. The colors and the design are beautiful and it has eastern/Moroccan influence to it without being over the top. Of course art is very personal so this is my opinion. He uses a lot of different mediums and even makes these gorgeous light pieces too that are just stunning. I can't really find any great pictures of the light boxes but if you look at his website you will get the idea.
Acrylic boxes that can illuminate if light is placed under them.
Buying a house is great but I'm having a hell of a time figuring out how to decorate. Hopefully this spices up the blank walls in the house.
September 26, 2011
Trying to balance it all...
I'm officially in my third trimester! I looked at the countdown on one of my baby iphone apps and it said I have 71 days until this baby is due! 71 days is not a lot of time. Sometimes I feel like this pregnancy has flown by. Then other times I can't remember not being pregnant. I am starting to really get a little anxious about how labor is going to be, motherhood and the realization that I will forever be responsible for another life.
I thought I'd write a post about some pregnancy symptoms/side effects and some of the things that have been on my mind lately.
I'm such a whiner and I didn't mean for this post to go on and on but sometimes I think its helpful to hear about the crappy parts of an otherwise great time in life. Yes I still think its just as incredible that I am growing a life inside me and I know this baby is worth all the pain listed above and much more. It doesn't change the fact that pregnancy is difficult. On top of your body changing, your entire life changes and shifts. Whether you like it or not, you become a different person in some ways. For example, I have had to deal with the frustration of being phased out of work. They no longer put me on important projects and I feel completely out of the loop. I know they are just preparing for me going out but it still bothers me to have to compromise in this area. I have always dedicated a lot of myself to work/school and I hate feeling useless and underutilized.
This makes me think about how hard it is going to be to prioritize everything in my life. I've heard from different working mothers that it can be really frustrating to know that you can't do everything well. You might not/probably won't be the best employee at work or the best mother when you have to juggle it all. I mostly worry about missing out on my child's life while I'm at work. If I'll somehow not bond with my little one as much or be there for them when they really need me. Both my parents worked but my mom ran my dad's office growing up (and still does) so the job was definitely flexible. I never felt neglected when both my parents were at work but my SIL is a stay at home mom (for now) and is able to give so much to her children. I know we will work it out to find some balance that works for our family but these are the things that have been weighing on my mind these days.
Readers, any advice for moms to be on finding a life balance, going back to work or any general advice?
I thought I'd write a post about some pregnancy symptoms/side effects and some of the things that have been on my mind lately.
- Carpel Tunnel: It sucks. Apparently is very common for pregnant women to experience this because of the swelling and fluid retention. I started noticing it in the mornings when I woke up and my fingers were tingly. These days I sleep with wrist guards on and have to ask my husband to massage my arms nightly. I have to say its a really annoying feeling to have tingling, burning and aching hands, wrists and even arms.
- Swelling: So far my ankles and face have started to swell a little. Some days are worse than others and I find myself wearing more pants to hide my cankles.
- Leg cramps: I haven't had too many of these but they are awful and wake me up in the middle of the night confused and in a lot of pain. No great explanation as to why they happen to pregnant women but when they happen, it helps me to flex my feet or get out of bed and stand up right away.
- Belly button: I'm losing the battle to stay an "innie" slowly. I'm hoping to make it all the way to 40 without it popping out but it seems to be getting smaller and smaller and ready to pop any day.
- Linea negra: Yup its there. All the way up my belly almost to my chest. Lately a dark circle has formed around my belly button and its not cute. I guess women with darker skin are more prone to this.
- Hair: Looking pretty good and full. I guess you tend to lose less hair during pregnancy but post pregnancy apparently a lot falls out. My sister in law lost a ridiculous amount of hair in the two months after she had my nieces and nephew.
- Back Pain: I swear as soon as I hit my third trimester back pain set in bad again. I had a bout of sciatica early on in pregnancy but it went away during second trimester. I think its back now because the baby is getting bigger and squishing my insides. Yup squishing. I'm super technical and clinical. If I don't get up every hour or so while I'm at work I get a bad backache and my ass hurts. Back pain also contributes to me not being able to sleep.
- Hip pain: Since you can't sleep on your back while prego and my usual spread eagle tummy sleeping doesn't work either, I have to sleep on my sides. This is causing my hips to just ache. So now I wake up multiple times a night to pee, or because my fingers have gone numb from carpel tunnel, or to adjust because my hips/back are killing me.
I'm such a whiner and I didn't mean for this post to go on and on but sometimes I think its helpful to hear about the crappy parts of an otherwise great time in life. Yes I still think its just as incredible that I am growing a life inside me and I know this baby is worth all the pain listed above and much more. It doesn't change the fact that pregnancy is difficult. On top of your body changing, your entire life changes and shifts. Whether you like it or not, you become a different person in some ways. For example, I have had to deal with the frustration of being phased out of work. They no longer put me on important projects and I feel completely out of the loop. I know they are just preparing for me going out but it still bothers me to have to compromise in this area. I have always dedicated a lot of myself to work/school and I hate feeling useless and underutilized.
This makes me think about how hard it is going to be to prioritize everything in my life. I've heard from different working mothers that it can be really frustrating to know that you can't do everything well. You might not/probably won't be the best employee at work or the best mother when you have to juggle it all. I mostly worry about missing out on my child's life while I'm at work. If I'll somehow not bond with my little one as much or be there for them when they really need me. Both my parents worked but my mom ran my dad's office growing up (and still does) so the job was definitely flexible. I never felt neglected when both my parents were at work but my SIL is a stay at home mom (for now) and is able to give so much to her children. I know we will work it out to find some balance that works for our family but these are the things that have been weighing on my mind these days.
Readers, any advice for moms to be on finding a life balance, going back to work or any general advice?
September 16, 2011
New Favorite Cookies
I found this recipe on pinterest for chocolate chunk pecan cookies this week and could not wait to try making them. Oh my god these cookies are incredible and SO ridiculously easy to make. You will only need one bowl to mix everything (and of course a measuring cup, teaspoon, spoon, spatula and baking sheets) so it makes clean up very easy. They took me 15 minutes to mix up and I only baked them for 10 minutes so in under 30 minutes I made my favorite cookies to date. Lately all the chocolate chip cookie recipes I try and sort of lackluster so as you can tell I'm a little excited. I also do really love pecans so that might be adding to this enthusiasm.
I didn't alter the recipe at all - click here for the full recipe. Make sure you toast the pecans to bring out the flavor - it makes a big difference! Bake or Break is definitely going to be my go to place for recipes now.
Enjoy your weekend! It's feeling like fall here in Boston which is my favorite season in New England so I'm excited to take a few walks and just relax.
Picture from Bake or Break
I didn't alter the recipe at all - click here for the full recipe. Make sure you toast the pecans to bring out the flavor - it makes a big difference! Bake or Break is definitely going to be my go to place for recipes now.
Token crappy cell phone picture. Mine aren't as pretty as Bake or Break's but they do taste incredible.
Enjoy your weekend! It's feeling like fall here in Boston which is my favorite season in New England so I'm excited to take a few walks and just relax.
September 14, 2011
Maternity Dresses are Ugly
I had a really hard time finding a cute maternity dress for my baby shower my Mom and Sister in Law threw me in California. In my opinion maternity dresses in general just aren't that cute or fashionable. Luckily non maternity clothes can usually work because dresses and tops these days are loose and flowy. But of course when you are looking for a dress, you can never find one. I shopped for dresses for weeks and was pretty frustrated overall throughout the process. In the end it came down to three contenders.
Dress That Launched 1000 Ships from Modcloth (in Storm):
This dress is really beautiful and the print is much better in person. Its a non maternity dress, nice quality fabric and could definitely be worn again. But it just didn't look that great on me. I have big hips and this dress floated over them and made me feel even bigger than I actually am. I think part of it too is that my boobs have decided to grow along with the baby bump and they are just monsters these days. Plus the dress was expensive ($150). So back it went to Modcloth.
The Back View Dress from Anthropologie:
This dress is really vibrant and colorful. I loved the back of this dress so much (its all braided). Plus it has these butterfly sleeves which hid my arms that I am so self conscious of. This was a serious contender for me for a while but my mom just didn't like it. I'm not sure that it was all that flattering because I had this baby bump and then on top of it the butterfly sleeves made everything up top look sort of voluminous. I think someone with really skinny legs could rock this dress with a baby bump though. It is expensive at $168.
I also really debated wearing an Isabella Oliver dress but ultimately decided it might be too sexy for a baby shower with family and family friends everywhere. Tight, red, sexy and worn by Angelina Jolie I realized doesn't exactly scream baby shower and motherhood (not that you can't be a sexy Mom).
So, when I finally got this dress from asos I was thrilled.
I loved the color and I thought the fit could be flattering but I wasn't really all that sure about the fabric. It wasn't that expensive ($69 at the time) and with free shipping I figured why not. This dress ended up being the one that my mom and SIL liked the best. I felt really comfortable in it and the fabric is this soft jersey that feels so soft. Here are a few pictures of me and my fellow prego BFF from my baby shower. I'm 26 weeks in the picture and she is 34 weeks.
I guess the only dress that worked turned out to be a maternity dress so the title of my post is a little aggressive. I've been pretty disappointed with maternity clothes shopping aside from the fact that you get to wear elastic waistband pants everywhere. That seriously is a dream come true. I wonder why they don't make more regular stylish clothes with elastic waistbands. Where are your favorite places to shop for prego friendly clothing?
Dress That Launched 1000 Ships from Modcloth (in Storm):
This dress is really beautiful and the print is much better in person. Its a non maternity dress, nice quality fabric and could definitely be worn again. But it just didn't look that great on me. I have big hips and this dress floated over them and made me feel even bigger than I actually am. I think part of it too is that my boobs have decided to grow along with the baby bump and they are just monsters these days. Plus the dress was expensive ($150). So back it went to Modcloth.
The Back View Dress from Anthropologie:
I also really debated wearing an Isabella Oliver dress but ultimately decided it might be too sexy for a baby shower with family and family friends everywhere. Tight, red, sexy and worn by Angelina Jolie I realized doesn't exactly scream baby shower and motherhood (not that you can't be a sexy Mom).
So, when I finally got this dress from asos I was thrilled.
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September 12, 2011
Video that makes me cry
This google video has been out for a while but it makes me tear up every single time I watch it. I love watching fathers with their children - something about it just makes my heart just feel like its going to explode. Not sure if I'm just getting more emotional with all the hormones.
Can't wait until we meet this little guy or girl so I can grab their gmail name and maybe start doing the same thing.
Can't wait until we meet this little guy or girl so I can grab their gmail name and maybe start doing the same thing.
August 15, 2011
Pregosaurus Attacks
I know its been weeks since I've posted. I really want to get better at consistent blogging but I honestly sometimes just feel boring. I feel sometimes like nothing I am writing or thinking of writing is new or original. It probably has already been written before and more eloquently than I can say it. I guess this is my blog though and I can only write about what I know so here we go....
I'm 24 weeks pregnant today! This is a huge milestone for me - one I honestly wasn't sure that I would make back when I was only in my first trimester. At this point in my pregnancy, my baby is medically viable and if anything bad were to happen, they would try and save this little boy or girl. The lines are a little blurred here and some hospitals have saved babies as early as 21/22 weeks but I'm just happy that I've made it to the well known 24 week mark. Don't get me wrong baby - you stay in there and grow (my early first trimester mantra was "grow baby grow")- but this does bring some kind of relief. After having two miscarriages, I can finally recognize that this pregnancy is different. This is one strong little guy or girl and I believe in the baby and my body. So far, the best feeling in the world has been feeling the little one kick. There is nothing quite so reassuring and wonderful as feeling those little kicks, pokes and turns. I'm sure I'll be singing a different song towards the end of pregnancy when the baby is rearranging my insides and its uncomfortable. But for now, I'm blissfully happy when I feel those movements. It makes me feel like we have a little secret together and are already sharing moments together.
So clearly I am pretty damn happy and grateful for this pregnancy. But oh my god my hormones are insane. I am a mercurial monster and honestly frequently feel like I could laugh, cry and scream with rage all at the same time. Tonight for example, I lost my shit on my husband who brought home a not ripe avocado. Seriously just lost it and basically threw a tantrum. It was sort of integral to our dinner but really did not deserve my reaction. Pregnant bitches be crazy. The funny thing is that at the time I totally recognize that I am being insane but I just cannot get a grip. I call myself pregosaurus because of my hormones and because I eat food with gusto these days.
Plus I feel like a fat monster. I know I'm pregnant and I'm supposed to gain weight blah blah. It is just hard to feel attractive these days. Feeling ugly and laziness have stopped me from taking prego pictures. I really wanted to be one of those cute women that takes weekly pictures and has everything documented. I just can't get it together in the morning since I am perpetually late. And at night the last thing I want to do is take a picture of myself. I did it though at 22 weeks on my iphone so one of my fellow prego friends could see what the bump looked like. Excuse the crappy quality - my husband was on call and I'm not good at taking my own picture.
Sorry for the long boring post. I will try my hardest to keep writing and hopefully it won't all be prego related.
I'm 24 weeks pregnant today! This is a huge milestone for me - one I honestly wasn't sure that I would make back when I was only in my first trimester. At this point in my pregnancy, my baby is medically viable and if anything bad were to happen, they would try and save this little boy or girl. The lines are a little blurred here and some hospitals have saved babies as early as 21/22 weeks but I'm just happy that I've made it to the well known 24 week mark. Don't get me wrong baby - you stay in there and grow (my early first trimester mantra was "grow baby grow")- but this does bring some kind of relief. After having two miscarriages, I can finally recognize that this pregnancy is different. This is one strong little guy or girl and I believe in the baby and my body. So far, the best feeling in the world has been feeling the little one kick. There is nothing quite so reassuring and wonderful as feeling those little kicks, pokes and turns. I'm sure I'll be singing a different song towards the end of pregnancy when the baby is rearranging my insides and its uncomfortable. But for now, I'm blissfully happy when I feel those movements. It makes me feel like we have a little secret together and are already sharing moments together.
So clearly I am pretty damn happy and grateful for this pregnancy. But oh my god my hormones are insane. I am a mercurial monster and honestly frequently feel like I could laugh, cry and scream with rage all at the same time. Tonight for example, I lost my shit on my husband who brought home a not ripe avocado. Seriously just lost it and basically threw a tantrum. It was sort of integral to our dinner but really did not deserve my reaction. Pregnant bitches be crazy. The funny thing is that at the time I totally recognize that I am being insane but I just cannot get a grip. I call myself pregosaurus because of my hormones and because I eat food with gusto these days.
Plus I feel like a fat monster. I know I'm pregnant and I'm supposed to gain weight blah blah. It is just hard to feel attractive these days. Feeling ugly and laziness have stopped me from taking prego pictures. I really wanted to be one of those cute women that takes weekly pictures and has everything documented. I just can't get it together in the morning since I am perpetually late. And at night the last thing I want to do is take a picture of myself. I did it though at 22 weeks on my iphone so one of my fellow prego friends could see what the bump looked like. Excuse the crappy quality - my husband was on call and I'm not good at taking my own picture.
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June 23, 2011
Cravings!
So this isn't really a post so much as a ode to donuts and churros. Holy crap doesn't this look incredible?
I don't honestly know if its pregnancy cravings or just that I have a crazy sweet tooth but I could eat all of those churros for breakfast. Daily.
And just to make this more of a pregnancy post and not just a picture of churros here is a picture of me at 15 weeks, 6 days. Excuse the horrible picture and the lack of makeup. I didn't take any belly pics weeks 1-12 out of fear that things wouldn't go well. Now I don't take any because I'm lazy and have been feeling pretty large and in charge these days.
More real and substantive posts to come soon.
Source: thesetingstaketime.com via Michelle on Pinterest
I don't honestly know if its pregnancy cravings or just that I have a crazy sweet tooth but I could eat all of those churros for breakfast. Daily.
And just to make this more of a pregnancy post and not just a picture of churros here is a picture of me at 15 weeks, 6 days. Excuse the horrible picture and the lack of makeup. I didn't take any belly pics weeks 1-12 out of fear that things wouldn't go well. Now I don't take any because I'm lazy and have been feeling pretty large and in charge these days.
More real and substantive posts to come soon.
June 13, 2011
Been a little busy...
Growing this little one!
Baby at 12 weeks, 2 days
Baby at 12 weeks, 2 daysI am 15 weeks today and feeling pretty great except for being tired and having allergies. I was blessed with no morning sickness and only some slight nausea. I waited for a long time to announce anything first because we were nervous given our previous miscarriages and then because we had to wait to tell all our family and friends.
Aside from baby growing, we recently moved and I've been working like a mad woman so the blog has definitely fallen to the wayside. I haven't even taken any pictures of my already showing little belly bump. Its starting to look a little less like I've eaten too many donuts so I'm happy about that.
I can't wait to start getting back into blogging more and documenting the my pregnancy. :) Hopefully some of you are still reading and will be here for the journey!
Aside from baby growing, we recently moved and I've been working like a mad woman so the blog has definitely fallen to the wayside. I haven't even taken any pictures of my already showing little belly bump. Its starting to look a little less like I've eaten too many donuts so I'm happy about that.
I can't wait to start getting back into blogging more and documenting the my pregnancy. :) Hopefully some of you are still reading and will be here for the journey!
March 28, 2011
and then she dies...
Two months ago my husband got me hooked on a TV show on FX called Louie which is a show about the comedian Louie C.K.'s life mixed with his standup routines. He is the funniest comedian I have seen in a long time. His comedy is so so so inappropriate and hilarious and there is nothing safe or "pc" about his comedy. So if you are easily offended don't watch it. I've only seen the first season but I can't wait to catch up and watch the second season. We are going to see him in Newport, RI this summer and I'm already overexcited.
So the title of the post comes from one of my favorite scenes when Louie is talking to his therapist about sex:
THERAPIST: Sex isn't complicated, it's simple. A man gets aroused. He puts his penis inside a woman's vagina. He ejaculates. And then she dies.
LOUIS: What?? And then she dies?
THERAPIST: No. I was thinking of something else.
The scene made me laugh cry hard. I know random post but I needed some cheer this Monday morning. Have a great week!
Louie CK standup on Cinnabon
So the title of the post comes from one of my favorite scenes when Louie is talking to his therapist about sex:
THERAPIST: Sex isn't complicated, it's simple. A man gets aroused. He puts his penis inside a woman's vagina. He ejaculates. And then she dies.
LOUIS: What?? And then she dies?
THERAPIST: No. I was thinking of something else.
The scene made me laugh cry hard. I know random post but I needed some cheer this Monday morning. Have a great week!
March 10, 2011
Definitely on the Right
One of my favorite blogs Elements of Style featured the most beautiful Mercedes ad and I couldn't resist re-posting some of the images. I am definitely a right brained girl and love creativity, feeling and art in any shape or form. I feel everything and agonize over everything. I am not practical, in control, or analytical so I don't know how I got into a job that forces me to be more left brained. I think in some ways the need to be more left brained has balanced my free spirited wishy washy ways and pushes me to see and understand different perspectives. But sometimes I can't help but wonder if I wouldn't be more successful and happy if I embraced my natural tendencies.
Visit Erin Gates' original post to see the left brained description. Which one are you? Does your career/life compliment your brain tendencies?
Visit Erin Gates' original post to see the left brained description. Which one are you? Does your career/life compliment your brain tendencies?
March 8, 2011
Advice on our New Ride
So as I mentioned yesterday, we are going to buy a new car between now and May (when we get to move in to our new house!). I grew up with Toyota brand cars but my husband is a Honda person. Right now we have an old Honda Civic that has been good to us and after driving our current car for the past 3 years, I agree that Honda brand cars are solid and reliable. I would also maybe lean towards Honda given the recalls with Toyota as of late. Or should we venture out more from Honda and Toyota? I drive a crap ton of rental cars and have noticed that Hyundai's are really nice cars and a decent amount cheaper.
Our criteria right now is a small SUV that is good on miles like the Honda CRV or Toyota Rav4. Wifeylifey has me seriously considering the Rav4 but I guess consumer reports rates the Honda CRV much higher than any other small SUV.
So I'd love some car advice. Any brands and models you would suggest? Any car features you think are necessary? I really want in car navigation but husband thinks its a total waste of money....
Our criteria right now is a small SUV that is good on miles like the Honda CRV or Toyota Rav4. Wifeylifey has me seriously considering the Rav4 but I guess consumer reports rates the Honda CRV much higher than any other small SUV.
So I'd love some car advice. Any brands and models you would suggest? Any car features you think are necessary? I really want in car navigation but husband thinks its a total waste of money....
March 7, 2011
Where did February go?
First things first, I suck at keeping up with my blog. Lots has happened in the past month though....
House
We found a house, made an offer and it was accepted!!! Yay. After a few hurdles, we have officially signed a purchase and sale and are on our way to being the owners of an actual home! It will be kind of a shock to have no one living above or below us, more than one bathroom, a garage and for the first time in 10 years not be living in the middle of a big city. Granted, we are only 7 miles from Boston but with the traffic and roads here, that's about a 20 minute drive. Our official move to suburbia won't really change that much because to be honest I drive everywhere and rarely take the train downtown. My husband however can't walk to work anymore which means we have to buy a new car too. This is the most money I've ever spent in my entire life and the first time I will be owning a car (I never needed on in Boston or NYC and the one I drive now is officially my husbands) and property (current condo was my husbands before we got married).
Baby
So now that we've got a 4 bedroom house, its time to fill it with a baby or two. The trying to conceive game continues and I was loving Carly's post on the dreaded two week wait. The husband is in DC for the month so who knows how long this annoying little dance will be. I'm not going to lie, its been tough watching everyone around me get preggers in no time at all. The jealous, frustrated and angry part of me came out for a while and was just bitter about everything. I am getting over it though and realize that things happen for people at different times. You can't rush something as good as a baby and when we do have a baby it'll be extra special for us. Plus I still get to do things like indulge in wine, drink coffee, eat sushi and have some turkey sandwiches while I am at it. I know I'd give up all those things in a heartbeat for a baby but I am trying to stay positive after some very comforting advice from Shortie. Although Our Little Haus is no longer, Shortie recently started a new blog about trying to conceive, how to get pregnant and pregnancy after loss that is already one of my favorite blogs to read.
House, baby and work have been taking over life. Oh and the travel for work is getting OLD. I spent a week in San Diego last month which I know is annoying to complain about. But don't worry, it was rapidly followed up by a week long trip to rural Minnesota. Yup Minnesota in February is just no bueno. Can't switch jobs until we move to the new house though so to try and keep myself more calm and take charge of my health (the scale at the doctors office was a slap in the face!), I took a hot yoga class with my friends last night. It was hot and sweaty but very relaxing. Hey, if my friend's husband can do it and be all flexible then so can I.
Anyway, that's whats been going on with me lately. I've gotta think of a new name for a blog soon and I think make the transition over to wordpress. Any suggestions of names would be great since I don't think I want to start a blog called Life on (new street name).
House
We found a house, made an offer and it was accepted!!! Yay. After a few hurdles, we have officially signed a purchase and sale and are on our way to being the owners of an actual home! It will be kind of a shock to have no one living above or below us, more than one bathroom, a garage and for the first time in 10 years not be living in the middle of a big city. Granted, we are only 7 miles from Boston but with the traffic and roads here, that's about a 20 minute drive. Our official move to suburbia won't really change that much because to be honest I drive everywhere and rarely take the train downtown. My husband however can't walk to work anymore which means we have to buy a new car too. This is the most money I've ever spent in my entire life and the first time I will be owning a car (I never needed on in Boston or NYC and the one I drive now is officially my husbands) and property (current condo was my husbands before we got married).
Baby
So now that we've got a 4 bedroom house, its time to fill it with a baby or two. The trying to conceive game continues and I was loving Carly's post on the dreaded two week wait. The husband is in DC for the month so who knows how long this annoying little dance will be. I'm not going to lie, its been tough watching everyone around me get preggers in no time at all. The jealous, frustrated and angry part of me came out for a while and was just bitter about everything. I am getting over it though and realize that things happen for people at different times. You can't rush something as good as a baby and when we do have a baby it'll be extra special for us. Plus I still get to do things like indulge in wine, drink coffee, eat sushi and have some turkey sandwiches while I am at it. I know I'd give up all those things in a heartbeat for a baby but I am trying to stay positive after some very comforting advice from Shortie. Although Our Little Haus is no longer, Shortie recently started a new blog about trying to conceive, how to get pregnant and pregnancy after loss that is already one of my favorite blogs to read.
House, baby and work have been taking over life. Oh and the travel for work is getting OLD. I spent a week in San Diego last month which I know is annoying to complain about. But don't worry, it was rapidly followed up by a week long trip to rural Minnesota. Yup Minnesota in February is just no bueno. Can't switch jobs until we move to the new house though so to try and keep myself more calm and take charge of my health (the scale at the doctors office was a slap in the face!), I took a hot yoga class with my friends last night. It was hot and sweaty but very relaxing. Hey, if my friend's husband can do it and be all flexible then so can I.
Anyway, that's whats been going on with me lately. I've gotta think of a new name for a blog soon and I think make the transition over to wordpress. Any suggestions of names would be great since I don't think I want to start a blog called Life on (new street name).
February 4, 2011
First There's Sour, Then There's Sweet
I'd rather just take the sweet I've decided. Its been a crazy week of highs and lows and though I can't get into the details just yet I had a great reminder this week of the things that are actually important in life. Family, friends, and love.
I keep seeing these sour patch kids commercials (hence the title of this post) and this one is my favorite so far .Enjoy and hope you all have great weekends!
I keep seeing these sour patch kids commercials (hence the title of this post) and this one is my favorite so far .Enjoy and hope you all have great weekends!
January 27, 2011
Weird Dreams and Random Thoughts
I'm all in a funk today because I had some weirdo dreams last night. I think most women who are TTC (trying to conceive) feel that the two weeks of wait for your period are agonizing. I start to freak out and think every little thing I feel could be a pregnancy symptom. Clearly pregnancyis on the brain (among other things) because last night I had a dream that I was pregnant and also that Anthony Bourdain and some woman were pregnant too. Oh and we were all hanging out at one of my nieces birthday parties. I think its because I was watching an episode of No Reservations where he goes to Syria that was particularly weird. Either way I need to get a life and get distracted fast because I'm driving myself bananas.
On another note - did you see Clemence Poesy in Marie Claire? Its featured on Who What Wear's Blog and I love the styling and her hair is incredible.
Also, I wish I could make a fishtail braid like Minka Kelly and actually rock it without feeling like I was back in 5th grade. What? Didn't your mom do a fishtail braid that went all the way across your head too? Awesome.
On another note - did you see Clemence Poesy in Marie Claire? Its featured on Who What Wear's Blog and I love the styling and her hair is incredible.
Also, I wish I could make a fishtail braid like Minka Kelly and actually rock it without feeling like I was back in 5th grade. What? Didn't your mom do a fishtail braid that went all the way across your head too? Awesome.
January 25, 2011
Women, Leadership and Success
I just found this video (see below) of Facebook's Chief Operating Office, Sheryl Sandburg, giving a talk on why we have too few women leaders. The statistics she provides on women in leadership positions is disappointing. As a woman in a challenging business environment who is also thinking about having kids soon, this video really hit home and made me feel inspired.
The key thoughts of her speech are:
1. Sit at the Table - She makes the point that women often underestimate themselves, attribute their success to outside factors and aren't as confident and self assured as men. She provides examples such as 57% of men negotiate their first salary out of college, while only 7% of women do the same. I know that I didn't negotiate my salary much with my first job and didn't at all with my second job. After discussions with my male coworkers (I happen to work with mostly men), they all said they really negotiated and weren't afraid to be rejected. A potentially costly lesson learned for myself. She also talks about how women who are driven can often be viewed in a negative light when compared to male counterparts. She references an Harvard Business School case study on a successful venture capitalist who happened be a woman (Heide Roizen) and how when the name was changed from Heide to Howard, the students at HBS perceived the success very differently. While I don't think that women are always perceived in a negative light when they push to be successful and are competitive, I do think it happens fairly often. It may be subconscious on some level, but I've been in many situations over the years where I've seen this type of behavior. Where men and women behave in similar manners and the woman's actions and speech are considered "bitchy" and "pushy" while men are considered "authoritative" and "no nonsense". I put those in quotes because my coworker once actually said those things after a meeting and he's generally a very open and intelligent person. I don't think this is just the male perception either, I think women feel that way towards other women a lot of times.
2. Make Your Partner a Partner - Sandberg speaks of the common theme of women taking on "twice the amount of housework", and "three times the amount of childcare" compared to the man. She doesn't simplify the cause and doesn't deep dive into it but does talk about how as a society we put more pressure on boys to succeed than our girls. Also when men do decide to work from home, Mom's often don't know how to interact with them and tend to shun them. She encourages us to "make it as important a job to work inside the home for both genders if we are going to even things out and have women stay in workforce". I couldn't agree more with that sentiment. We don't even have kids now and I tend to feel pressure (self imposed) to do more of the household duties, to "take care" of my husband and the people around me and to keep a beautiful home. To clarify my husband helps out a lot around the house and I actually came home from work yesterday to find him cooking me a homemade Indian dinner AND he even did the dishes (we usually rotate - if you cook, the other cleans up)! Its honestly all in my head and I have to say that I do take pride and put pressure on myself to be a great cook and to maintain a clean and stylish home. Plus if stress relief weren't enough, Sandberg mentions that people with equal responsibilities and equal earning tend to have half the divorce rate and a better sex life.
3. Don't Leave Before You Leave - This final point emphasizes that women often tend to "lean back" and stop looking for a promotion and ways to get ahead when they think about/have a child. They start to wonder how they can fit taking care of a child into everything else they are doing and so they stop trying to get ahead in their career. I can honestly say that I have thought about that a lot lately. How could I possibly continue with my career when I travel so frequently and work such long hours? How can I scale back instead of how can I get ahead. Sandberg points out that the problem with this is that when you do have children, your job should be rewarding, challenging and make a difference. Otherwise you are less likely to come back or want to leave your kid(s) at home. Essentially the message is to just keep swimming or keep your foot on the gas pedal.
Watch the video below - I promise the 15 minutes is well worth your time...
The key thoughts of her speech are:
1. Sit at the Table - She makes the point that women often underestimate themselves, attribute their success to outside factors and aren't as confident and self assured as men. She provides examples such as 57% of men negotiate their first salary out of college, while only 7% of women do the same. I know that I didn't negotiate my salary much with my first job and didn't at all with my second job. After discussions with my male coworkers (I happen to work with mostly men), they all said they really negotiated and weren't afraid to be rejected. A potentially costly lesson learned for myself. She also talks about how women who are driven can often be viewed in a negative light when compared to male counterparts. She references an Harvard Business School case study on a successful venture capitalist who happened be a woman (Heide Roizen) and how when the name was changed from Heide to Howard, the students at HBS perceived the success very differently. While I don't think that women are always perceived in a negative light when they push to be successful and are competitive, I do think it happens fairly often. It may be subconscious on some level, but I've been in many situations over the years where I've seen this type of behavior. Where men and women behave in similar manners and the woman's actions and speech are considered "bitchy" and "pushy" while men are considered "authoritative" and "no nonsense". I put those in quotes because my coworker once actually said those things after a meeting and he's generally a very open and intelligent person. I don't think this is just the male perception either, I think women feel that way towards other women a lot of times.
2. Make Your Partner a Partner - Sandberg speaks of the common theme of women taking on "twice the amount of housework", and "three times the amount of childcare" compared to the man. She doesn't simplify the cause and doesn't deep dive into it but does talk about how as a society we put more pressure on boys to succeed than our girls. Also when men do decide to work from home, Mom's often don't know how to interact with them and tend to shun them. She encourages us to "make it as important a job to work inside the home for both genders if we are going to even things out and have women stay in workforce". I couldn't agree more with that sentiment. We don't even have kids now and I tend to feel pressure (self imposed) to do more of the household duties, to "take care" of my husband and the people around me and to keep a beautiful home. To clarify my husband helps out a lot around the house and I actually came home from work yesterday to find him cooking me a homemade Indian dinner AND he even did the dishes (we usually rotate - if you cook, the other cleans up)! Its honestly all in my head and I have to say that I do take pride and put pressure on myself to be a great cook and to maintain a clean and stylish home. Plus if stress relief weren't enough, Sandberg mentions that people with equal responsibilities and equal earning tend to have half the divorce rate and a better sex life.
3. Don't Leave Before You Leave - This final point emphasizes that women often tend to "lean back" and stop looking for a promotion and ways to get ahead when they think about/have a child. They start to wonder how they can fit taking care of a child into everything else they are doing and so they stop trying to get ahead in their career. I can honestly say that I have thought about that a lot lately. How could I possibly continue with my career when I travel so frequently and work such long hours? How can I scale back instead of how can I get ahead. Sandberg points out that the problem with this is that when you do have children, your job should be rewarding, challenging and make a difference. Otherwise you are less likely to come back or want to leave your kid(s) at home. Essentially the message is to just keep swimming or keep your foot on the gas pedal.
Watch the video below - I promise the 15 minutes is well worth your time...
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