Moved!

I started a new blog called Oh My Charming.  Come visit me there! :)

Moved!

8 weeks already!

How has 8 weeks already gone by since my baby girl was born? The time seems to flying by and I am absolutely dreading having to go back to work in a few weeks.  Having my daughter has been the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me.  I honestly didn't know how much everything would change once she was born.  I am a mother now and forever.  That fact is both incredible and daunting at the same time.  I know this has been uttered many a times, but honestly I finally understand what its like to be a parent including all the fear, worries and concerns.  Her smile can absolutely change my mood and make life happy in an instant.  

Not to imply that things are all butterflies and cupcakes here. I have had some really tough times in the past eight weeks and went through a baby blues phase that made me feel pretty isolated, sad and left me crying a lot.  Motherhood is hard.  Recovering from having a baby is hard.  Breastfeeding is hard. All of combined makes life seem more than hard and almost impossible at times.  But I got through it one day at a time and those smiles and snuggles make it totally worth it.  Today I took a 2 hour nap with my daughter and woke up with her hand resting on my cheek, her baby smell all around me and I realized how blessed my life is.  

I promise one day I will write about more than motherhood, babies,etc but for now this is my life.  

I just wanted to write down a few memories from her first month (even if it's almost time to write about her second month!)

One Month:

Highs: Your birth, Christmas with you and the entire family, your unaware sleep smiles, the way your clasp your hands together when you sleep, breastfeeding, watching my husband become a father

Lows: Mastitis, thrush, third degree tear, baby blues, sleep deprivation, breastfeeding (yes it is both high and low)

Your personality: You have the girliest wails/screams and are showing signs that you will be feisty and expressive. You roll on your side no problem, track objects and your neck control is pretty incredible. You love to snuggle and sleep on Mom and Dad.  Or really anyone but I like to think that you prefer us.  You love high contrast images and also the B&W stuffed panda bear that your Chacha (Uncle) got you.  You talk to him (aka make lots of cooing noises) and are able to follow him with your eyes.

And of course some pictures...

 Me and my little lady

 Your cousin and uncle admiring you

 Sleeping on mommy with clasped hands

 Unaware baby smiles

 Your first Christmas

 You and Daddy. This position always calms you down

 Little baby fingers

You and Daddy right after you were born 

Being introduced to the family 

Four generations 

You and your Seeya (grandfather)

8 weeks already!

Introducing...

Our daughter!

She was born on December 12th in a dramatic fashion and is the love of our lives.

In the past three weeks I have been dealing with the recovery from labor (third degree tears are not fun), figuring out breastfeeding and all the associated worry/pain, getting through mastitis (midway through the antibiotics for that), plus the holidays and family, etc.  And of course figuring out how to be a mommy to a newborn.  There have been a lot of tears (both happy and sad) but so so much love.

I hope to post the birth story soon and start to write here and there.  Happy new year to everyone!

Introducing...

Favorite Pregnancy/Parenting Reads

My due date is today and I'm still pregnant. I am giant and extremely cranky and spend a lot of time begging the baby to come out and whining about how much I'm sick of being pregnant.  I really am SO sick of being pregnant.  I want to be able to feel my fingers again, to not have to use all my effort to get out of bed, to sleep on my stomach and to finally meet my sweet baby.  Oh and finally know if I've been growing a son or a daughter all this time.

Also I'm uber prepared.  I've spent the past few weeks organizing, cleaning and buying everything we could possibly need for this baby.  I am also now working from home and already wrapped up almost everything last week so really now I'm just bored and anxious.  I spent the day sitting on my ass, watching Harry Potter and feeling irritated that nothing was happening.  My mom is coming in town tomorrow evening so at least I'll have some company and someone to make me delicious Sri Lankan food.

Anyway, I figured since it has been ages since I wrote a post, I would write some of my favorite reads throughout this pregnancy.

Pregnancy Blogs/Websites:

• Pregnant Chicken - hilarious pregnancy blog.  My favorite post is Awkward Pregnancy Pictures - so many guns, watermelons and awkward naked/sexual poses
• Amalah weekly pregnancy calendar - week by week guide to pregnancy
• Babycenter Blog - different posts covering parenthood, pregnancy, celebrity baby gossip, etc
• Bee in the Pod - collection of posts from weddingbee girls who are now going through pregnancy/TTC
• Hellobee - great new TTC, pregnancy and parenting blog created by Bee Kim of Weddingbee

Newsletters:

• Lucie's List - a survival guide for new moms, baby registry basics, plus you can sign up for funny, useful weekly tips and advice.
• Baby center, The Bump, What to Expect When Expecting - these sites will all email you weekly about your baby's development, tips, etc.  I signed up for all three which is kind of annoying towards the end.  Choose 1-2 and go from there.

Mom/Parenting Blogs/Websites:

• Amalah
• Motherlode - NY times parenting blog
• Rookie Moms

Breastfeeding:

• Kellymom - awesome advice and information on breastfeeding, sleep and parenting.  Highly recommend reading this in your third trimester.
• The Zhukeepers - Great advice from a lovely weddingbee mommy

Books:

• Guide to Natural Childbirth - Ina May Gaskin.  This book wasn't necessarily my cup of tea but then again I am pretty sure I want an epidural and believe in modern medicine.  Also I don't really believe that a euphoric/sexual childbirth exists.  I mean pushing 5-10lbs through my lady parts just isn't something I think I'll enjoy.  That being said, it is useful for giving you lots of birth stories and not spinning birth in such a negative way.  Childbirth is something women were made to do and many women don't need a lot of interventions to have a healthy baby.  I don't think birth has to be the horrific nightmare that people love go on and on about.  Why women like to tell you awful things about their own labors when you are pregnant is beyond me.  Yes I know its going to hurt - I don't need to hear about your 4th degree tear and how things just aren't the same down below. I ramble but read this if you are curious about natural childbirth.
• What to Expect When Expecting - Heidi Murkoff - This book I found to be really annoying and presents WAY too many scenarios.  I don't need to know what to do if I was on crack before I realized I was pregnant thank you.
• Brain Rules For Baby - Written by a molecular biologist this book is about scientific research on how to raise a smart and happy child from pregnancy through 5 yrs of age.  I listened to this on audiobook and it was interesting and somewhat useful.
• Baby Bargains - Great book about necessities for a newborn, and tips to save on all the many many baby related items you will have to purchase.

IPhone App:

• Baby Bump - Great iphone app that gives you daily and weekly updates, has some great boards and features like kick counters, contraction timers, baby names, etc

Nursery Inspiration:

• Project Nursery
• Lay Baby Lay
• OhDeeDoh

Oh and definitely sign up for Amazon Mom - its sweet and you get prime membership for up to 9 months for free!

Those are the blogs, websites and books I can remember for now.  I did do a lot of pregnancy reading by going through former weddingbee girls who were TTC, prego or a mom - you can find them listed on Bee in the Pod.  Some of my favorites are Geek in Heels,  Oh Apostrophe, and OMG...I'm a Mom.

Hope this was somewhat helpful.  It helped me focus on something besides going into labor so at least there is that. Also feel free to comment with great blogs, books, etc that I might have missed. :)

Favorite Pregnancy/Parenting Reads

My little melon

It's been a while since I've written and honestly the weeks seem to be bleeding into one another.  I can't believe its November next week.  I feel like yesterday I was thinking, "Shit I can't believe its October next week".

So I'm 34 weeks now and baby weighs about as much as a cantaloupe (4.75lbs).   I kind of can't believe that the baby is this big and I'm only 3 weeks away from being considered full term.  We went to Nantucket this weekend for a little "babymoon" and it was beyond gorgeous.  It is the place you imagine when you think of a seaside New England town.  We had gorgeous fall weather all weekend, ate a TON of really ridiculously good food, walked around cobblestone streets, visited the Whaling Museum and went in stores that we couldn't possibly buy a thing.  We also watched a lot of Breaking Bad on the laptop - we are completely addicted to the series and will watch 3-4 episodes a night if possible. Netflix streaming is the best.

View from our balcony in Nantucket 

And below is what I see when I look down these days.  My belly feels enormous to me these days and lately the baby has been going bananas and moving like crazy to the point where it actually hurts sometimes.  I also think I've been getting more frequent Braxton Hicks contractions where my stomach feels so tight it feels like it could just burst.

And a side view.  Yes I took these while I was at work.  I needed a break and figured why not be awkward and try to take belly self portraits in my cubicle.  Also my shirt is not a maternity shirt and is struggling to cover my lower stomach. I'm awesome and have totally given up.

 

My best friend had a baby last week (!!!) and it sort of put me in a panic to get ready for our little one.  I'm working on a post of the things I'm doing to prepare before baby arrives so hopefully it'll be up this week. :)

My little melon

Parvez Taj

I recently purchased our first piece of art for our new house! I bought one of Parvez Taj's reclaimed wood pieces called Kasbah.  I got it for a steal on One Kings Lane and now just have to wait a month for it to arrive in the mail.

It was sort of an impulse buy because I've never seen the artists pieces in person but I just got a great feeling from the piece.  The colors and the design are beautiful and it has eastern/Moroccan influence to it without being over the top.  Of course art is very personal so this is my opinion.  He uses a lot of different mediums and even makes these gorgeous light pieces too that are just stunning.  I can't really find any great pictures of the light boxes but if you look at his website you will get the idea.

 Acrylic boxes that can illuminate if light is placed under them.

Buying a house is great but I'm having a hell of a time figuring out how to decorate.  Hopefully this spices up the blank walls in the house.

Parvez Taj

Trying to balance it all...

I'm officially in my third trimester! I looked at the countdown on one of my baby iphone apps and it said I have 71 days until this baby is due! 71 days is not a lot of time. Sometimes I feel like this pregnancy has flown by.  Then other times I can't remember not being pregnant.  I am starting to really get a little anxious about how labor is going to be, motherhood and the realization that I will forever be responsible for another life. 

I thought I'd write a post about some pregnancy symptoms/side effects and some of the things that have been on my mind lately.

• Carpel Tunnel:  It sucks.  Apparently is very common for pregnant women to experience this because of the swelling and fluid retention. I started noticing it in the mornings when I woke up and my fingers were tingly.  These days I sleep with wrist guards on and have to ask my husband to massage my arms nightly.  I have to say its a really annoying feeling to have tingling, burning and aching hands, wrists and even arms. 
• Swelling: So far my ankles and face have started to swell a little.  Some days are worse than others and I find myself wearing more pants to hide my cankles.
• Leg cramps: I haven't had too many of these but they are awful and wake me up in the middle of the night confused and in a lot of pain.  No great explanation as to why they happen to pregnant women but when they happen,  it helps me to flex my feet or get out of bed and stand up right away.
• Belly button: I'm losing the battle to stay an "innie" slowly.  I'm hoping to make it all the way to 40 without it popping out but it seems to be getting smaller and smaller and ready to pop any day.
• Linea negra: Yup its there.  All the way up my belly almost to my chest.  Lately a dark circle has formed around my belly button and its not cute.  I guess women with darker skin are more prone to this.
• Hair: Looking pretty good and full.  I guess you tend to lose less hair during pregnancy but post pregnancy apparently a lot falls out.  My sister in law lost a ridiculous amount of hair in the two months after she had my nieces and nephew.  
• Back Pain: I swear as soon as I hit my third trimester back pain set in bad again.  I had a bout of sciatica early on in pregnancy but it went away during second trimester.  I think its back now because the baby is getting bigger and squishing my insides. Yup squishing.  I'm super technical and clinical.  If I don't get up every hour or so while I'm at work I get a bad backache and my ass hurts.  Back pain also contributes to me not being able to sleep.
• Hip pain: Since you can't sleep on your back while prego and my usual spread eagle tummy sleeping doesn't work either, I have to sleep on my sides.  This is causing my hips to just ache.  So now I wake up multiple times a night to pee, or because my fingers have gone numb from carpel tunnel, or to adjust because my hips/back are killing me.

Another annoying thing about pregnancy is that I feel like I need to rely on my husband a lot more.  I know it shouldn't annoy me and I feel so grateful that he takes care of me and really has pampered me this entire pregnancy.  That being said I'd really like to be able to lift heavy things (or even things of moderate weight), not be so emotional and not need him to rub my arms and/or back every night.  He always does and he is the best but sometimes it feels like I have to rely on him too much and I'm just not used to that feeling.

I'm such a whiner and I didn't mean for this post to go on and on but sometimes I think its helpful to hear about the crappy parts of an otherwise great time in life.  Yes I still think its just as incredible that I am growing a life inside me and I know this baby is worth all the pain listed above and much more. It doesn't change the fact that pregnancy is difficult.  On top of your body changing, your entire life changes and shifts.  Whether you like it or not, you become a different person in some ways.  For example, I have had to deal with the frustration of being phased out of work.  They no longer put me on important projects and I feel completely out of the loop.  I know they are just preparing for me going out but it still bothers me to have to compromise in this area.  I have always dedicated a lot of myself to work/school and I hate feeling useless and underutilized.

This makes me think about how hard it is going to be to prioritize everything in my life.  I've heard from different working mothers that it can be really frustrating to know that you can't do everything well.  You might not/probably won't be the best employee at work or the best mother when you have to juggle it all.  I mostly worry about missing out on my child's life while I'm at work.  If I'll somehow not bond with my little one as much or be there for them when they really need me.  Both my parents worked but my mom ran my dad's office growing up (and still does) so the job was definitely flexible.  I never felt neglected when both  my parents were at work but my SIL is a stay at home mom (for now) and is able to give so much to her children.  I know we will work it out to find some balance that works for our family but these are the things that have been weighing on my mind these days.

Readers, any advice for moms to be on finding a life balance, going back to work or any general advice?

Trying to balance it all...

New Favorite Cookies

I found this recipe on pinterest for chocolate chunk pecan cookies this week and could not wait to try making them.  Oh  my god these cookies are incredible and SO ridiculously easy to make.  You will only need one bowl to mix everything (and of course a measuring cup, teaspoon, spoon, spatula and baking sheets) so it makes clean up very easy.  They took me 15 minutes to mix up and I only baked them for 10 minutes so in under 30 minutes I made my favorite cookies to date.  Lately all the chocolate chip cookie recipes I try and sort of lackluster so as you can tell I'm a little excited. I also do really love pecans so that might be adding to this enthusiasm. 

Picture from Bake or Break

I didn't alter the recipe at all - click here for the full recipe.  Make sure you toast the pecans to bring out the flavor - it makes a big difference! Bake or Break is definitely going to be my go to place for recipes now. 

Token crappy cell phone picture.  Mine aren't as pretty as Bake or Break's but they do taste incredible.

Enjoy your weekend! It's feeling like fall here in Boston which is my favorite season in New England so I'm excited to take a few walks and just relax. 

New Favorite Cookies

Maternity Dresses are Ugly

I had a really hard time finding a cute maternity dress for my baby shower my Mom and Sister in Law threw me in California.  In my opinion maternity dresses in general just aren't that cute or fashionable.  Luckily non maternity clothes can usually work because dresses and tops these days are loose and flowy.  But of course when you are looking for a dress, you can never find one.  I shopped for dresses for weeks and was pretty frustrated overall throughout the process.  In the end it came down to three contenders.

Dress That Launched 1000 Ships from Modcloth (in Storm):

This dress is really beautiful and the print is much better in person.  Its a non maternity dress, nice quality fabric and could definitely be worn again.  But it  just didn't look that great on me.  I have big hips and this dress floated over them and made me feel even bigger than I actually am.  I think part of it too is that my boobs have decided to grow along with the baby bump and they are just monsters these days.  Plus the dress was expensive ($150).  So back it went to Modcloth.

The Back View Dress from Anthropologie:

This dress is really vibrant and colorful.  I loved the back of this dress so much (its all braided).  Plus it has these butterfly sleeves which hid my arms that I am so self conscious of.  This was a serious contender for me for a while but my mom just didn't like it.  I'm not sure that it was all that flattering because I had this baby bump and then on top of it the butterfly sleeves made everything up top look sort of voluminous.  I think someone with really skinny legs could rock this dress with a baby bump though.  It is expensive at $168.

I also really debated wearing an Isabella Oliver dress but ultimately decided it might be too sexy for a baby shower with family and family friends everywhere. Tight, red, sexy and worn by Angelina Jolie I realized doesn't exactly scream baby shower and motherhood (not that you can't be a sexy Mom).

So, when I finally got this dress from asos I was thrilled.

I loved the color and I thought the fit could be flattering but I wasn't really all that sure about the fabric.  It wasn't that expensive ($69 at the time) and with free shipping I figured why not.  This dress ended up being the one that my mom and SIL liked the best.  I felt really comfortable in it and the fabric is this soft jersey that feels so soft.  Here are a few pictures of me and my fellow prego BFF from my baby shower.  I'm 26 weeks in the picture and she is 34 weeks. 

I guess the only dress that worked turned out to be a maternity dress so the title of my post is a little aggressive.  I've been pretty disappointed with maternity clothes shopping aside from the fact that you get to wear elastic waistband pants everywhere.  That seriously is a dream come true.  I wonder why they don't make more regular stylish clothes with elastic waistbands.  Where are your favorite places to shop for prego friendly clothing?

Maternity Dresses are Ugly

Video that makes me cry

This google video has been out for a while but it makes me tear up every single time I watch it.  I love watching fathers with their children - something about it just makes my heart just feel like its going to explode.  Not sure if I'm just getting more emotional with all the hormones.

Can't wait until we meet this little guy or girl so I can grab their gmail name and maybe start doing the same thing.

Video that makes me cry